Karin Gruber is a Viennese photographer whose work focuses on people, places and social realities. Her practice includes documentary and portrait photography, with a particular interest in personal stories and the spaces in which they unfold. She has worked in Lebanon as part of the Vienna–Beirut collective project Lebanon – In a State of Unrest, documenting diverse personal experiences and social realities in the country.
Lebanon – In A State Of Unrest
“I am Austrian and Lebanese, and I love this simultaneity.”
For Michael there are two loves – Vienna and Beirut.
My father left Lebanon more than 40 years ago – at the beginning of the Lebanese Civil War. As children we always heard: “We can’t go to Lebanon now, because there are problems”. There was always a lot of melancholy in his stories. He wanted his children to have as little exposure as possible to what he was going through. For me. it had the opposite effect. I wanted to understand why the country is the way it is? Why my father had left? Why should I not discover my second home?
We spoke German at home, so learning Arabic was a choice I made. I was fifteen then. When I went to Lebanon with my father for the first time in 2011, it was very moving. Arriving at the airport, seeing a family you only know from video calls, everyone crying, driving to the family home and realizing: Okay, this is where my dad is from.
From then on, my love for the country grew more and more. I studied interpreting to perfect my Arabic, and did an internship at the Lebanese Embassy in Vienna. I have always looked for ways to deal intensively with the country. This fascination is also a conflict: With my European passport, I can live a completely different life in Lebanon than many Lebanese can.
When the port of Beirut exploded on August 4, 2020, the news was an indescribable moment of shock. We knew relatives lived nearby, and we were unable to contact them for hours before finally receiving confirmation that they were alive. That was the first time I could understand how it must be for someone who has family in a war-torn country, and only sees it from afar. The next trip to Lebanon was correspondingly difficult: Seeing the destroyed family home, and at the same time, knowing that I was arriving from Vienna and grew up far away.
My exposure to Lebanon made me realize how great Austria is, and what a carefree environment we live in. A land of the blessed. When I hear people in Austria whining, I think to myself: “Open your eyes – you live in such a great country!” And at the same time, in Vienna I always have this longing for Lebanon. It feels a bit like homesickness, although I never had the feeling that I did not belong to Austria. Two hearts are beating in my chest: I like the Austrian laid-backness, the humor. And at the same time, Lebanon means magic to me. At the moment, it is my wish to live in Lebanon – even if I call every cat ‘Schurli’ here. (laughs)
(Schurli = Viennese pet name version of George)